Hi everyone

This is my first ever post. Today i have finally accepted that i am a gambling addict and need to stop. I dont have any friends to talk too nor will i speak to my family regarding the issue, mostly because am embarrassed and ashamed, to be honest they are not the most sympathetic and understanding so its just not an option.

I started gambling from the age of 8 believe it or not starting with 10p machines in the arcades, £2-3 football bets in the weekend with the help of my dad and not really affecting me at the time. As the years went on i got myself a fake ID for online betting were the small betting with a thing
of the past but when i got my first job at 18 things got out of control very quickly. 80% of the wages were spent on the one day (paid fortnightly) on the FOBTS alone trying to chase the losses.

Over the 6 years i took out payday loans, student loans, credit cards, sold belongings, you name it just to feed the habit and i can safely say i destroyed my chance at education because nothing else mattered. I am currently in 10k debt and as you can imaging it being soul destroying slowly paying it back.

Not creating excuses for myself on the silly idiotic things that ive done but there is a lot more to the story than meets the eye. Gambling has been destroying my life for years but i believe gambling had played a part on saved my life also at one point. After my parents split up, moved 300 miles away with my mum and couldn't truly accept it, couldn't make friends, bullied at school, alcoholic stepdad very abusive mentally and physically. So yes gambling made me feel alive for a short period of time. I know that sounds silly but it was the only thing that was keeping me going.

Am so sorry for rambling on there but i appreciate you taking the time to read this and appreciate any advice. Thank you!